What was once eternal hell is now a blip in time
forced thoughts made space for a clearer mind.
What was once a gathering place defined by age
I look back as though it were all acted out on a stage.
What was once all that I knew
a bound routine has now gone askew…
I had no idea what I was going out into.
I wrote this poem after being given school as a promt in the writers group I am a part of. We had to write 6 lines but I couldn’t decide between the last two so for the sake of this post (and my sanity 😂) I’ve left both in. Truth be told, those of you that have known me long enough are probably aware that I was homeschooled for the last portion of time in school because of my chronic pain.
I worked through a lot of the subjects by myself before I was given a tutor and even then there were days when she (there were a few before her but she was the one who stuck!) couldn’t come because I was unwell so I had to teach myself. I feel like there are elements of this in the poem above as well as how I thought about school when I was in it as well.
My shyness controlled me almost as much as my chronic illness and for the most part it wasn’t a nice time. When I became homeschooled I worked hard and passed all of my exams constantly worrying whether or not I was studying the right things in-between flare-ups as there was a disconnect between myself and the school despite my tutor being arranged with them.
I felt cut off from being a normal teenager and it was at times a downward spiral of not being able to do anything because of the pain so I could have become more shy because of it but it instead made me stronger 💪. I still can’t believe that that time in my life is over as in the moment it felt like it would go on forever. I also can’t believe that I achieved what I set out to do. Despite this poem being a tad moody it’s really a positive subject that motivates me now (If I can get through all of that I can conquer whatever comes my way both despite my chronic pain and to spite it! 💫).
Thank you for reading! I just wanted to share something a bit personal for me with you 😊 I hope you have a lovely day! ♥️