Hi everybody!! 🤣 God I sound like Dr. Nick from the Simpsons 😅. It’ll take some time to regain the introduction flow I had going on…even longer than this because I’m not properly back from my break, just popping in like that nosy neighbor you love to hate 😊. How have you been?? ❤️❤️ I’ve missed this space, each of you guys just bring a different thing to the table and in seeing you all in my minds eye through your unique ways I’ve found myself remembering various chats from the past and the laughs we’ve had which has had me smiling away with nostalgia for it all to be back where it was. It won’t be long until it is, I’ll tell you that much!
I want to say a massive THANK YOU for all the kind wishes back when I went away here, you guys are the best and your support made it a lot easier for me to relax about the whole thing in amongst the chaos that ensued. You took the time to wish me well and played a part in motivating me to keep going, even when things got tough and that means a lot.
Also, hello to all the new faces here! 👋 People seem to want me when I’m not around 😂. Perhaps I should do one of those re-introduction posts…or maybe you could just go back and read past editions? Its entirely your call 😏 I’m lazy so the former of the two has my vote 😂. I’ve on and off been around the blogosphere reading posts every now and then but there’s nothing quite like being back as well as reading the posts because then you feel fully immersed and involved within it all.
I thought I’d be away constantly thinking about blogging but strangely enough it would only come to mind when I wanted to check in for posts to read from those I fangirl over and to take note whenever I had an idea for a post. Life seemed to slip into a very present minded state, similar to how things were before I started out here and it felt truly amazing. It’s something I’d like to take forward and work on when balancing things out for a healthy medium where blogging doesn’t override my life as it so often can get like that even when you don’t realize it.
It has taken an outside perspective to show me that and I don’t want to waste it. Days can go by set in motion, especially with a routine but it’s important to take a break and assess a situation to see how things can be taken forward in a more worthwhile fashion. Its so easy to get lost in something you can’t even see and it’s okay to have that outlet but when it involves a screen it’s important to check in from time to time. I could go round and round in circles putting it in different ways but to have it out there simply, I’ve considered myself to be quite a self aware person for a very long time and although I still very much am, I’ve felt a calmness seep into the damaging effects of that and it can only be a good thing.
Its my birthday tomorrow and I’m really looking forward to it!! 🤣🎉 I’ll be 22 and I don’t know if it’s because I’m feeling tired right now but I can’t place what it feels like to have even been 21 (a certain pandemic may have had an effect on that 😂) so for now I just see numbers and am reminded of beautiful memories from the past and have been dreaming about all that is to come in the future 🤞 my bucket list has skyrocketed alongside my expectations 🌟😂.
I used to be upset about getting older but when you think about it, we get older everyday and not only that but we become wiser and learn more from the world around us and in turn ourselves which makes it a nice thing to think about as opposed to a dread. It doesn’t need to be looked into in a bad way because all it really is is the amount of years we’ve been here and if experience is a bad thing then I honestly don’t know what a good thing is 😂.
In saying that though, I do like how 22 is an even number! I’m fickle like that. I never really acknowledged I was 21 and yet I’ll admit it doesn’t feel right anymore, in that sense I can tell I’m ready to move on from it and I also get to be associated with that Taylor Swift song too which makes me really happy for some reason 😂. As fast as this year has gone it still feels like my last birthday was a long time ago so I’m ready for another one! 😏
SO! what is this post about? Well I was going to call it my last blogging chat as a 21 year old but then it dawned on me that I’m not going to stop talking until I’m 22 just to call this my last chat 🤐😂. Oh great, spell check wanted me to say 21 there and in turn reminded me of the year I’m leaving behind but no my dear friend that is more of an enemy, don’t try to make me feel bad about it when I’ve finally somewhat come to terms with the whole idea of moving on (it’s gonna happen anyway, resistance is futile 😕😂).
If I were to say that so much has happened since I left on the 12th of October and a whole section of events opened up you’d probably think I’m being dramatic but in all seriousness a LOT has happened (You can’t take a break in this life I tell you 🙌). It feels like it’s been way longer than a little less than a month 😵.
Originally I took time out because I was unwell + partly finding it difficult to read/write and even though I enjoyed having a break, it was like a switch was flicked and all of these things started to occur that made me think “how would I have kept blogging through that!?”….it’s like I was meant to take a step back. With all of the craziness occuring I was sort of scared to return with a sense of what will happen next? And maybe it won’t happen if I go back to doing this?? 🤔 (Perhaps this level of stuff happened beforehand in day to day life but I was so engulfed in writing I didn’t care to notice and that’s fine by me 🙌 blogging is a coping mechanism if there ever was one 😂). Long story short I think this place stops bad stuff from happening so naturally I gravitated back towards it…oh and I missed you too of course 😇😂.
I am still finding it difficult to concentrate on reading/writing with my mind in an almost constant fog when it comes to that but every now and then I’ll slip out of that fatigue and that just didn’t happen for a while so I’m holding onto hope. Its mad what can happen in less than a month. Its like you want things to be busy but you’re far from ready when they are. I’ve just been rolling with it 😌.
There is a certain novelty to this place that only us bloggers can understand. Its a full on world to escape into at our own detriment amongst a community of like-minded souls. Its like having a really nice day and then getting lost in a place that captures that emotion, holding onto it so vividly that you associate it with that time you want to remember. Right now I can recall a time when I went out with friends a couple of years ago, came back home and it had been cold out so I was glad to be back if I’m honest 😂 and I went up to my room and everything just felt kind of magical. I picked up my phone and checked in here where people were sharing Autumnal/wintery posts with cozy vibes. I’d left a nice moment behind for another one and it was a simple figment of time where nothing overly momentous had happened but things just felt right and I didn’t have to harness deja vu to know I was where I was meant to be. Its difficult to explain but then the best things are.
When I go on breaks I worry about losing that feeling but it’s never too far away. If anything I just have to think of that memory until it solidifies into the present moment but with subtle differences (cause y’know lockdown, I ain’t going out for nobody😂). Looking back on posts I worry that I won’t write the same but that’s stupid because I’m the same person, I’m just going through a bad patch and this difficult time hasn’t taken away my humour 🙌😌.
I thought I’d be lost without being here as much but it actually couldn’t have been any more different than that. It calmed my mind when I didn’t feel it needed calming and is it weird to think that I feel like a different person for that in such a short amount of time? Maybe it’s the full on move over into the colder seasons. I’ve had less screen time and gotten loads done despite pain and other things that took my attention. I feel well rested, yeah that’s it. Like I’ve had a long sleep 😴.
It grounded me so that I am solidly where I am and not fully immersed in something away from the present moment whereas blogging always seems to be about the future as I write for that in preparation so it can be tricky not to lose sight of things at times. Being so in the moment was like a slap in the face (in the best way possible, like a euphoric slap 😂). It was realistic and not of this place. It enhanced a focus that has been very mindfull and I’ve been in a good headspace. Even if that realization is not what I originally set out for when I went on a break, I’m glad I gained that perspective deeper than the insight on it I had beforehand. as it’s something I can learn from.
I’ve gained a sense of freedom because having a blog is a huge responsibility so time off from that contrasts a lot to how things were and showed me what it was all like before I even started out. I WANTED that because I’d like the best of both worlds tbh 😂. It feels healthier and as though it’s the way forward. I know I’m being repetitive here, it’s just that it all feels so important to jot down and acknowledge.
Wanna know some of the things that happened? Well for starters I got a covid test! It was just a precaution as a flare-up bought on a fever that I am familiar with as a symptom but we had to be sure just in case. Most importantly, I don’t have the virus (probably should have said that first!) and I’m glad about that as we’re still pretty sure we had it back in December when things got really bad so we don’t want to feel like that again.
Moving on I knocked heads with my labrador Ruby and it HURT 🤕. I was leaning down to give her a kiss and Toby our other dog barked which of course set Ruby off (the oversized puppy that she is), she jumped up and we crashed into eachother. Leading back to the original culprit I was more annoyed with Toby than I was with Ruby but she can do no wrong in my eyes to be fair 😂. Toby was just barking at the solar lights switching themselves on in the drive 🤦. My nose hurt for days but at least it wasn’t broken, tis a blessing in disguise that didn’t really help with the pain 🤔. Sure she’s lucky my nose is quite bendy 😂.
Next up, we had a leak in our sitting room through the ceiling 😑. I went in one morning and thought it was our window but it was actually traveling along up above to get there through a pipe that had broken. Think we can all agree, at least the leak wasn’t coming from the room up ABOVE as thats my room and I would not known how to explain that one 😂. Although the heater in my room is finicky so it could have ended up being that! Anyway I had to tidy up incase the plumber needed to remove the floorboards to look down on the scene but he got the job done at a fairer price by cutting a square in the ceiling itself (don’t ask why that’s cheaper, I’ll never know 😂).
It got fixed and we covered it up with a plank of wood that my sister and I used to play shops with and there’s still a vague drawing of Pippy Longstocking on it too, we were odd children 😂. Then we removed that and a plasterer covered it up properly before my dad repainted and it looks better than it did before so yay!
Snuggled in amongst this list of happenings Ireland went back into lockdown so we’re currently in that again and on a lower note that still deserves to be acknowledged, the clocks went back so we get an extra hour in bed but do you know what? I’ve found I wake up earlier because I think this is what my body is set at! It all went wrong for me sleepwise when the clocks went forward so I’m back in a steady-ish groove now where timing makes more sense (Happy days or should I say nights? 🌙😂). Oh, did anyone get to see that blue moon on Halloween? There was nothing here but maybe the storm covered it up. I was looking forward to that 😔….even if I did only hear of it’s existence 24 hours before.
Roll up, roll up, next on the list we have me hitting myself in the face! 😶Its embarrassing because I’ve been called hazardous now and it’s not a label I was out to get 😂. Can’t say I like it but I can’t exactly disagree either. Two hot water bottles burst on me a few months ago on the same day so that pretty much cements the deal 😫. I get through those things like wildfire…and that’s what they end up feeling like 🔥😂.
This time round I was pulling my duvet up and yet again it involved Toby! 🐕 He gets on my bed every morning and in this particular moment was weighing down the duvet so I pulled to get it back, it came loose and WHACK I hit myself in my left eye 😅. The nose one hurt more as Ruby’s head is the consistency of a brick. This pain eked out into the day and I didn’t stand a chance against a migraine flareup in the end (it’s funny until it’s not but I’m still laughing because I’m so annoyed with myself!! That one could have been avoided….if Toby learned how to share 😂 he’s lucky he’s so cute).
More happened and on top of it all my health has deteriorated immensely during the colder months, progressing at a worrying rate and I’ve been in agony. As I started to write this I’d come out the other side of another lap of it and all felt clear, It was a feeling I wanted to hold onto before another wave approached and then it did and I’m back in that situation again. I’m working on getting this lot of the pain seen to and hoping that it will finally lead to answers I’ve been waiting for the majority of my life. Its crazy all that and more has decided to happen since less than a month ago but despite the bad stuff, this has been a really nice break.
I have felt incredibly present in the moment, more than I have done in ages. I haven’t been glued to my phone so fingers crossed that excuses the fact that I didn’t really make an appearance over on Instagram like I thought I would 😌. Probably UNsafe to say that I’ve been enjoying life seeing as it seems to be out to get me but I’ll say it anyway! I’ve been enjoying life and the little part of me that is pessimistic may believe that part about it being out to get me but I’m as optimistic as I can probably be within a pandemic with my chronic pain taking ahold.
On a lighter note that sheds an insight into one of the things I’ve been doing lately, I finally finished knitting my scarf! 😆 I’ve noticeably missed settling back to that activity in the evening since then so I need to get some more wool pronto 😂 that’s where my indecisiveness creeps in and I cannot decide on a colour though! I’m thinking teal and cream sound nice but I don’t think I’d end up wearing it so it’d just be a waste. Back to the drawing board I go which feels like eternal damnation! 🔥I don’t know if I mentioned it before but I passed the first module of the floristry program I was doing!! 😄💐 And I’m currently enjoying a Christmas workshop and having fun with that right now too🎄.
So yeah I genuinely feel like from here on out after all I spoke of above about the positive effect of this break I am on I know for sure that I will have a more levelheadedness with blogging and fitting it in with my life (not the other way around). I’m going to be changing a lot of things, some are not the kind that you can visibly see (mostly what goes on in the background and will in the long term keep me sane 😂) but I can tell you a few in the form of announcements! Here are a few things I’ve decided since I’ve been away:
For starters I’ll be back posting on the 25th of November! Yeah that’s right, I wasn’t lying when I said I was just popping on today 😅😂. It might sound like a random date and I do wonder what mad stuff will happen up until that point but I chose it so that I can still share my November bullet journal spread with you whilst we’re in the month itself ✨. In the meantime I have posted a sneak peak over on Instagram today so feel free to check that out 🐝.
With my health on the rocks I need more time to get things together and I’ve extended it further than I would have thought so that it won’t be a stressful endeavor to continue to type out posts. I have also resolved to not get het up about lengthy posts like I tend to do (the one you’re reading right now is bloody long but that’s only because I have a lot to say rn 😏). If a blog post feels finished and I’m pleased with it then I’ll trust my instinct and set it free 🕊️😯 because my God I waste a lot of time on things that are complete when I could very well have moved onto other stuff 😂.
The next piece of juicy gossip I have for you is that I will return with a new schedule! It will now be every 4th day instead of third. Maybe this will work in my favour as like I shone a light upon above, people seem to like me more when I’m not around as much 😂. In an effort to look for the nicest possible reason for that I’ve gone with it being due to absence making the heart grow fonder 💔😏.
My schedule used to be every 2nd day and that lasted for a whole year (2017), then 3rd for a good amount of time and I want to see if 4th is a fit. If not I’ll go back to third but you never know if you don’t try. So this would mean a post on a Monday and then the next on the Friday and Tuesday, Saturday, Wednesday and sunday. It has a nice rhythm to it as it goes up that I never took notice of in thirds so I’m pretty excited about that decision.
Last but by no means least in the new year I’ll be sharing a new blog logo!! (Or is it a banner? Whatever it is that goes at the top of the website). I actually won a competition a short while before I left to have a design created and I’m obsessed with the finished product! I’ve chosen the new year because I’m hopeful that I’ll be in a better place health wise where I can appreciate it fully in all its glory. I’m already in love and I don’t want to be feeling like this for that moment 😂.
At first I was just going to use it as a Twitter header as I am VERY attached to my current blog logo, but then I thought it’s time for some changes around here and that will be a huge one for me as I’ve always had that same logo and those of you that have been with me for a while might even remember that time I asked for your opinion on other designs and then proceeded to never even change it 🙄. But this time, I’mma do it………I could very well switch it back afterwards but only time will tell 😂.
This post didn’t have much to do with age and I’ll probably look back on it one day and get frustrated at my lack of acknowledgement about the ending of an era but to be fair this year was a trial run anyway. All the dates blended into one so why should I get all upity about not being a certain age anymore? Sure we’re just glad to be here at all 🙌.
Thank you for reading and acknowledging my existence which has been quite distant from here lately! 💭😂 Let me know how you’ve been in the comments and what’s gone on lately, I’d love to know (that’s half caring, half a tendency to be nosy because I’m not gonna lie, I’ve missed you 😅🤷😂). Come say hi and I know that might be cruel because I’m leaving you again but I suppose at least this time you know when I’ll be back 😅 (mark the date on your calendars and you’ll have an idea of when to retreat 😌😂).
I’m much better at this whole planning malarkey with a date in mind so now that the end of November is set in stone I’ll be back 💥. Guess I have to say I love you again seeing as this is another goodbye so there you go! 😜 Take care and I’ll see you soon, 2020 is the fastest thing out there so 17 days is nothing really…math isn’t my strong suit so that may be wrong but anywho 😂. Hope you have a wonderful time leading up to then ❤️✨❤️ and I’ll see you soon when I’m
older 22! 😓..🎁..🤣.