Hi everyone! I hope you’re well and having a brilliant day ❤️ I think the last time I wrote about my shyness and social anxiety were in these posts: HERE and then HERE so something like this has been long overdue. I’ve put it on the back burner as I’ve been nervous about sharing this again but seeing as how on Sunday I attended my first ever bloggers event (which I will be be writing about very soon 😄) I feel as though I’ve been given a boost to do this! I suppose it’s not like I have to go all into it and write about how my chronic pain effects me mentally but it still feels like I’m treading on quicksand and I don’t feel up to that kind of a post right now so instead I decided I would share my tips on how to cope in social situations!
This might be beneficial to someone out there and that makes the emotions I’m feeling right now a whole lotta worth it! I am the furthest thing possible from a pro in this area but who cares if it can be even the smallest amount of help so let’s get to it! 💃 First up…
Breathe and know that your body isn’t going to stop that function from happening! 🍃
What is common sense to some can easily be forgotten when you’re out of your comfort zone so if anything just remember to breathe and take in fresh air but know that if you don’t tell yourself to do it everything will still be okay. You’re breathing right now and in an uncomfortable scenario you’re breathing then too, the only difference is that its easier to take notice when you’re focusing too much on trying to do it. It happens either way so do what feels right in that moment.
It’s something your body does by itself (what do you think happens whilst you sleep? 😴 Your body looks after you that’s what!) and it won’t become irregular without your help so don’t fret about that area of things. Take deep breaths and slowly breathe out but don’t overdo it, keep it at a normal pace. You’re not alone and your bodies got this! (I think that makes sense 🤔🙈 ah well😂).
Focus on something
Pick a detail out from your surroundings and zero in on it whenever you can feel the nerves setting in worse than usual. Don’t keep staring at it unless you have to, only when you lose it a bit. That way it can be a kind of safe place and you can create one whenever needs be!
Stay calm + positive and don’t put yourself down!
Difficult I know as it’s very easy to keep thinking about what you’re doing wrong (which in reality is nothing at all!) but choose to be proud of yourself for getting yourself where you are in the first place! Try not to think too much into what you think you look like, like I said above: focus on something away from you and don’t allow yourself to be shut away inside your head.
Take each thing as it comes!
This is something my sister told me! Got an exam? Focus on your work and go over what you’ve studied, then as you walk into the building focus on that, then think about the door and opening it, walking down the hall to the test room, getting your seat and so on. One thing at a time. It doesn’t all have to fall on your shoulders and by doing this little exercise it’s easy to forget what you’re actually there for which is a good thing as it’s taking your mind off of the bundle of nerves!
Be kind, in other words stay true to yourself!
All that most social situations require to get you through is basic manners when you think about it! “Yes please” or “no thanks” and if that sounds too shielded it’s better than saying nothing at all if/when asked and having your emotions taken as rudeness. If you can stay true to yourself you’ll come across the right way and people will understand that you’re trying (I know that you’re not doing it for them but it doesn’t hurt to keep your wits about you!).
Remember that things will change
We grow as human beings everyday in lots of different ways, the most dominent being how we view ourselves. When I was younger I used to think I would be best friends with self service when shopping but as the years have gone by I’ve become confident (in more ways than one) and found I’d much rather go to a till and make small talk with someone. It’s tiny but it’s one of the many things I never would have thought I could do so it counts and so does what you’re feeling.
Take your time
There’s no rush to be a social butterfly, if it’s not in you to be that way when not around family (or at all) then that’s okay! You’re you and trying to be anything else would be wrong. If you’ve got something to say then say it instead of regretting it later and don’t feel like you have to speak slower or faster because you’ll be heard either way.
Set yourself a goal
Set yourself a goal (big or small) and try to have at least achieved that by the time you leave but if you can’t manage it don’t beat yourself up (your goal could be just getting to wherever it is you’re nervous to be!).
Keep in mind that nothing is ever as bad as we think it’s going to be!
It is either brilliant or okay most of the time and hardly ever as terrible as our minds try to make us think it will be 🙌
Be proud 👏
At the end of the day look back on what you did, even if you didn’t do all that you hoped, you tried and should acknowledge that before moving onto the next chapter in the book! I never know when the next time will come around that I’ll be able to get up and about because of flare-ups of chronic pain so I have tried to learn to be proud of when I am out and hold each time as something to live by and learn from.
Believe in yourself
You can do anything you put your mind to and are looking in the right direction. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt + don’t let nerves hold you back and when they do know that you will conquer this and come back 10 times stronger! 👊✨
Thank you for reading! 😉 I hope these tips are of help to some of you! Have you got any more tips for social situations? Share them in the comments like a good bean 😂, take care and have a wonderful day! ❤️