Hi everyone! How is your week going? ❤ Today I thought I would share a post with you about how to cope with online hate (mainly blogwise but it might help anyone really, fingers crossed anyway!). I was motivated by my sister to do this who helped me through the first bit of hate I received a month or so ago, she really helped put it all into perspective. I hope these tips can be of help should any of you find yourselves in a difficult situation (it’s not nice to think about but help is here if you need it!) Let’s get straight into this (also at the very end I have left a quick question that I would really appreciate your help with if you have the time ✨). Right, if you receive a hurtful comment please:
Don’t keep it to yourself, tell someone!
A problem shared is a problem solved or at the very least halved (which is good because you shouldn’t carry it all by yourself). You are not and will never be the problem by speaking out about how you feel, your loved ones want you to feel comfortable enough to share these things and will be grateful that you felt able to say something to them.
Whether you go to a family member, a counselor, a helpline, a friend (including blogging friends as you never it could have happened to them before and they might have some words of wisdom!) or just anyone you trust: speak out or write it down, do anything to let someone know and I promise you will notice a difference in how you feel about it all especially if it happens more than once.
Delete the comment or whatever it is before you do something you’ll regret. Otherwise you’ll just keep looking back on it feeding the anxiety it created. It’s not worth the bother, let it starve! (I’m going a bit power crazy here but you know what I mean 😂). Don’t delete it if it is a reoccurring thing though, in which case keep hold of them as evidence in order to take necessary action.
The longer it’s available to you the more you’ll look into it and try to reason with it when there’s no sanity behind it at all. Ask yourself “would I do that to someone?” The answer is a big NO! The fact that the person behind it all didn’t think like this just shows how different they are, you wouldn’t want to think like they do so don’t try to find a reason that hurts you as to why they sent it. The real reason is always down to jealousy, simple as.
After my heart calmed down from the shock of it all I immediately deleted the comment because I realized that the person who wrote it wanted a reaction and they also wanted to see the comment go up on my blog where they amongst everyone else could see their “opinion” out in the open (it’s never an opinion if it’s sole intention is to hurt others).
The comment never appeared on my blog because I didn’t hit approve, I hit delete instead and never have I ever felt more in control 😂 I knew that I would only have the hate they wanted me to have against myself if I replied to them and fed the drama. Well what they don’t know is that most people prefer their drama kept on TV if they can help it! 😂 Some people just aren’t worth our princess attention 💃Dump em! Douglas off the I.T Crowd was right! 😂
Don’t believe it and don’t change because of it!
If a personal remark is made do not believe it! It’s almost like a complete stranger coming up to you in the street and pretending they know you when they don’t but this person hasn’t even clapped eyes on you it’s ridiculous what they think they can get away with. They believe they have a fair picture because of what you share but you only share what you want others to see and there’s only so much you can so they will never know you. Don’t let them win by changing what they think they don’t like.
Think of the positives
There are more good people in this community (plus the world in general 🌍) than there are bad and that is a fact. It’s only that the bad ones try so hard to make themselves be seen that they kind of overpower it all for a bit. In reality they are small fry (disgusting fries of course, not delicious ones! 🍟😂)
It was around the time that I was celebrating 2000 of you here on Elsie LMC that the hate hit the fan 💩 (the room was wrecked! 😬😂) and that sent big signals to me after talking to my sister. Just as I was starting to doubt myself she said “It took you getting to this point to get a bad comment so what does that tell you?” The biggest thing this tells me is that like I mentioned earlier, there are more good people than bad. It took me reaching something that made me really happy and appreciative for the bad egg to come out of hiding wanting to spoil the celebration.
This person has come along saw your happiness and made assumptions about who you are based alone on the first thing they see. Long story short Misery likes company. The comment I received came across straight away as jealousy and childishness. I couldn’t help but notice they set up their account a few hours earlier probably with the sole intention of hurting others (they deleted it later so I’m wondering was it by choice or did they get kicked off for doing the same to someone else?).
People who write hate comments waste their own time when nothing needs to be said at all, it’s like they can’t help themselves but they can at the same time. They give your blog a view (which they don’t see is beneficial) and choose to be horrible for no reason at all and thats just sad. Normally If you don’t like something you walk away and no longer associate with it, you don’t continue to surround yourself with it for the sake of having something to moan about. Just think, if it’s such a problem to them then that is a pretty nice small thing to be worrying about in life because it can be avoided unlike proper worries y’know like getting hate! 😂
Looking at their words should fill you with pride in that you would never treat someone like that. You know right from wrong and that you should always treat others how you would wish to be treated yourself.
Look at it differently! 🙃
You’ve got to think “what is this person in comparison to what I go through/have been through?..nothing. Yes what they say hurts but truth be told they’re not even on the bloody radar! 😂 I had no tears left to give them as was going through a tough flare-up at the time (and I was on my period so I’m as surprised as you that I didn’t go find them! 🙄😂). If you see yourself starting to agree with them tell yourself the complete opposite of what you’re thinking, mess your mind up so that it remembers where it’s loyalty lies!
Let it out!
I said above I didn’t cry (maybe also because it was such a surprise) but my heart did take over for a while and its beating was all I felt and could hear. I kept chanting “breathe, just breathe” to myself which might sound dramatic but I didn’t know what else to do until I told my sister and deleted it.
I calmed down quite quickly now that I think about it and was more so confused as the comment didn’t fully make sense after I had properly read it. We all react in different ways, whatever you’re feeling don’t try to block it out. Let it happen and go with the flow, follow it through to the end so that you know the worst of it is out of your system. You’re going to feel little bursts of it whenever a comment comes through in the future thinking they will all be the same but it will wear off and if it does happen again? Well you’re stronger for the experience of powering through it the first time.
In an effort to move forward calmly do something and try to keep busy. Of course don’t act like it never happened but don’t think it will rule all of your future choices because it won’t, you’re still allowed to be you and continue with your life, you’re not in the wrong. Have a cup of tea ☕ get creative and draw, colour or write (a little story about a bully that gets their comeuppance…what!? There’s nothing wrong with a bit of karma! 😂)🖌 dance 💃read 📚 listen to music, watch your favourite film 📺 or plan an event ✨ do you and don’t be ashamed of it! Have fun and use the emotion that they tried to take away from you.
Remember who and where you are!
You’re still you, words hurt but they don’t mess up the configuration of your personality, it’s still there no matter how long it takes to find again! Take in your surroundings and see that nothing has changed, your perception of it might be veering towards the deep end but you’re still grounded.
Repeat a mantra, here’s a silly one off the top of my head that might or might not be considered a mantra: “I am the complete opposite of what they are trying to tell me I am. I am (say your name) and I’m being productive. They are feeding me their time…I now have more time to be me, to grow and to prove them wrong”. See the hate they throw as an opportunity. In all honesty guys I wouldn’t be writing this post had the hate not have happened, it’s the most productive I’ve been in ages! 😂
Last but not least
Remember that you’re not alone
You never will be!
…I wanted to add that GIF and then I didn’t and then I did and then it kind of ended up in my media folder so there you go….it’s true though isn’t it! 😂🤗
Thank you for reading! I hope this helped 😉 Do you have any tips on how to cope with online hate? Share below like the community they’ll never know! 😂 Before I go I just want to say that tomorrow I’m going to see Taylor Swift, Camila Cabello and Charli XCX in Croke Park!! 🎶 My sister won tickets (2018 is the year of winning stuff as we’re still of to see Queen next month on my mum’s birthday!), I’m very nervous as the stadium is huge and was wondering if any of you have any tips on how to deal with that? I don’t think I’ve ever been around that many people and with the journey/sounds/lights I’ll definitely end up with a flare up so I just want to enjoy the experience as much as possible before the pain sets in, please let me know and have a beautiful day! ❤