I’m back! ❤ What happened?!

Hi everyone! How are you??? ❤ I’ve missed this! 😌😂 I’m back! My little break was lovely despite the persistent flare-ups. It didn’t even feel like a break which is a good thing because I was worried I would be on edge veering off schedule. I expected to get nervous when the time came that I’d usually pop a post up but it only felt weird that first morning and then I got used to stepping back and thinking things through from a different perspective and realizing deep down all of the reasons why I needed the break and why I should probably take more.

I’m learning to have that happy medium between blogging and life and trying to remember what it felt like without my blog when thoughts weren’t rapidly centred around it and I didn’t have it to rely on as an escape from my health/overall drama. I got a glimpse of this whilst I was away and it came in the form of living in the moment, not taking it for granted and just having an emptyish mind which is rare. It was beautiful seeing the world in that form, I don’t think I even saw it that way before I started blogging as being on here has helped me to let out an awful lot and so easing along with it I feel like I’m really growing if that makes sense? (The first sign is that i had no idea what I was going to write in this post and we’re already well into it! 🙈😂).

I noticed a couple of things that I allowed blogging to wrongfully divert my attention from. Things that I know I will continue to push away as I can’t go out and experience them so they hurt to think about but at the same time dreaming about them feels oddly special because I do want them to happen one day no matter how scared I am of the massive change they would bring as then I would feel more alive. When everything settles down and I have a diagnosis/am on medication to help the pain I can have a life that brings as much joy as this online one does too and not depend on one over the other and accept a happy medium might be possible.

Anywho! Before I start crying 😂 Here are a couple of things that happened whilst I was on a break that I’m still smiling about:

I made progress in tidying my room!

The undoable has almost been done! 😂 I can’t promise what has been done so far will stay tidy but I’m going to try to not let it get in such a state again I promise 😂 Not everything is where I want it to be but for now I’ll leave it as it’s in a far better place than it was before. Even though I took my time with it I have ended up with bad flare-ups so whilst I’m away from it I’m now looking at what I can tidy next in order to finally complete it.

I went bowling with my family! 🎳

It was so much fun! I’ve only been once before on a school trip a long time ago and it’s been some time since we all spent time together in a setting like that so it was nice to just go and have a laugh cheering each other on! (And get pizza afterwards too 😋 That’s what kept me going when I lost! 🙈😂).

I planned more blog posts 💡

Alongside the drafts I had before I went on the break I have written more posts that although aren’t all complete yet have an idea running through them! 😂

I’ve been sleeping better! 😴

It’s been a dream! 😂 I stopped sleeping with my fan on which usually blocks out noises and soothes because it was getting to be too cold to handle and I’m so glad I did as I look forward to going to bed now (although sometimes if I say it out loud I jinx it and don’t end up sleeping well because I want it too much! 🙄😂).

I watched My Neighbor Totoro!

I don’t know what originally made me want to see this movie around this time last year but I finally got to watch it and I LOVE it! It’s so calming and beautifully made I just want to watch it over and over again!

Its snowing! ❄…😭

Tears because you know how excited I was getting for spring and then another bloody storm has to come along and we’re in the minus’s again 😟 if I look back to probably a month ago the ascent of my anger about the snow is rapid! (It feels like only yesterday I wanted it to happen and now it does I don’t want it! 😂). There is a blizzard going on outside right now. The water pipes coming into the house have frozen so we can’t use the taps or heating so it’s COLD and also parts of the ceiling downstairs is breaking it’s scary. It’s supposed to get worse in an hour then tonight the electricity might go aswell. To get everyone through whilst they stay in their homes Christmas FM started up again this morning! 😂 It’s going to keep on for 24hrs playing songs about snow and I can hear the lyrics drifting around the house right now ❄

With the weather like this my Raynaud’s has been worse than usual, this is another reason why a break was good; I could keep hold of drafts and plan more for the times when I can’t write/type because of flare-ups 😄. Last week I watched the sun go down on what I thought was our first non official day of Spring as it held up longer and I was honestly ready to get the party poppers out (but I didn’t because that would have been weird…we don’t have any party poppers 😂). If you are affected by this weather at the moment stay safe inside and keep warm ❤ Life’s all about waiting for the real storms to pass guys! 🙌😂

I had a genuinely calming time

And I definitely want to make it into a thing as it’s been a while since a week has turned out to be as productive as that in terms of doing stuff at a relaxing pace!

Thank you for reading! 😉 I am back into my usual schedule of every second day weather permitting as alongside the electricity going signal might too so I will hopefully see you on Saturday! Have a lovely day 🤗❤

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