Cry

Sometimes life is so beautiful it makes me cry.

So that when it is the opposite

there are no tears left.

Hi everyone! I hope you had a lovely weekend. I wrote this earlier this year when I was trying to make sense of how pain effects me. I realized that I feel like crying a lot more when something beautiful happens as opposed to something hurtful. Moments when I hold my smallest dog Toby in my arms and he falls into a deep sleep make me want to cry because he is so small and he’s alive (obviously! πŸ˜‚ But his little beating heart is precious! πŸ˜‚) he trusts us enough to close his eyes….I guess this is because we adopted him from a family who were feeding him bloody crisps though! πŸ™„πŸ˜‚

When I hug my family and I can almost fall asleep in their arms because I feel safe, I could cry (…but then I do love hugs πŸ™ˆπŸ˜‚). When I receive a lovely comment on my blog and I feel like I’m building up a friendship…this may sound weird..but I could cry! πŸ™ˆπŸ˜‚ I think this last one is because I was so blocked from life with my illness in the past but when I see that I’m being myself confidently more so everyday I feel happy because I feel like the old me is coming back πŸ˜„  

The other day when it was the anniversary of my mum receiving her kidney 6 years ago she told me she could remember laying in the hospital bed when we first saw her after the operation and then all of a sudden we were crying and holding each other close, out of disbelief as we never thought she would still be here after all these years. We cried with both sadness (knowing that a young girl passed away that night for my mum to live) and joyfulness at still being together. 

Of course when really bad things happen or I have a painful flare-up or remember something sad I cry but I feel like I could burst into tears more often from happyness and I think this is because there are no tears left to give a damn about the bad times πŸ˜‚ the bad things don’t deserve the tears as much because it seems like the good times have awkwardly stolen them as a show of gratitude for beautiful momentsπŸ˜‚ looking back on this now I see that love and life are what make me emotional πŸ˜‚ either that or I am having one of my usual spates of fatigue and am a bit hormonal and fascinated by everything πŸ˜‚πŸ˜¬…I prefer the “love/life” reason if I’m being honest with you! πŸ˜‚

Thank you for reading! πŸ˜‰πŸ’— Have an amazing day!

24 Comments

  1. Hi ! I don’t know how to put this less weirdly…But I cry endlessly. Being emotional for BOTH happy and sad moments is like my college degree. I excel in that area haha. My friends always tease me for seeing something when I’m walking down the street and being like “wow…so beautiful!” haha. this post really spoke to my heart. I was browsing to find out writing/poetry blogs and I am so glad I stumbled upon your blog πŸ™‚ Thank you for your beautiful words! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your lovely comment! That is so nice that you let it out for both emotions and don’t hold it in. I really appreciate that! Hope you’re having a lovely day πŸ˜„πŸ’—

      Liked by 1 person

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