Hi everyone!!! How are you today? Yesterday evening I realized something really shocking…there are over 1000 of you!! I want to say a massive THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to everyone that has taken the time to read what I write on here and I know I say this a lot but only because it’s true, you have helped me to discover a confidence within me that I had no idea existed 😂 I think I will live out my days trying to fully chip away at everything that blocks it out but now I know it exists so it better watch out! 😂 I never thought this would happen and that there would be a way for me to slowly become confident whilst my pain doesn’t allow me to get out and try conquer it like most. I have met so many amazing and unique people on here who teach me new things each day and make me not only want to achieve my goals but motivate me to actually go in the direction my dreams are in (not the opposite 😂) and know that through everything that is holding me back I CAN DO IT if I work hard even if I’m travelling like a snail 🐌😂 and can’t change it at least I’ve learnt to accept that it’s okay to say “I can’t” because I’ve been inspired by those on here who find a way and stay strong. Life is too short to not try fight the moments when I feel like giving in to thinking I’m a failure because the majority of the time there is no life in me. I can only work with what I have and pace as much as I hate doing so. It’s not okay to feel this pain but I have come to realize that it is okay to be different and that I am who I am because of what I have been through.
I am proud of the friends I have made on here. Not only have you helped me through the days when I cannot move because of my illness or am just overwhelmed by life, you have been there for me: when I was coming to terms with the reason behind my starting this blog being my pain and realizing I wanted to talk about it in hope of helping anyone, when I had to rehome my dog Alex who I still think about every day (her new family sent us some photos and she looks so happy 😄), you saw me pass my driver’s theory test 😂, enter my first poetry competition and blog awards!, Admit that I had downplayed my social anxiety as shyness and decide on starting a home course! You’re basically a really good counselor! 😂
I can’t remember the last time I received a notification celebrating a following so I was so happy and surprised when I got one 😂
I love knowing that I can look back on memories on here and know that I’m comfortable being me on here. Thank you for being with me on this never-ending journey! I wouldn’t have it any other way!
PS. On my last post HERE I wrote that I needed to get an appointment to see my GP after an onset of new symptoms. My mum arranged for me to see him yesterday but my rib pain left me unable to get in (I’m unsure if this is my pleurisy coming back on as I thought the medicine I took helped that and this feels worse) so my mum spoke to him on the phone and he has written a letter for us to take up to A&E for a scan and tests. He also said again that they are still looking into something in terms of a diagnosis that links most of my symptoms and the lesions on my brain! He said that this disease is rare and the medication is strong so they would have to be completely sure before they go any further as it is a disease that is difficult to diagnose. I’m hoping that I hear news if any after (not before) my holiday as that would most likely mean I wouldn’t be able to go 🙁 but I’m speaking too soon and can’t jump to conclusions yet as it feels strange even thinking of receiving a diagnosis after so long not knowing. I have always thought I would be completely happy if I ever got a diagnosis but after seeing what this particular disease has the possibility to become I’m fearful of the unknown. Its easy to think that once you receive a diagnosis things will get better but sometimes the medicine you recieve will just lengthen out the inevitable. It’s nice to have hope build up again though as my head has been hurting again today..That must be the longest ps ever 😂 but I wanted to let you know anyway!
…Pps. 😂 I found out that I have been making a mistake writing on here that my undiagnosed chronic illness started when I was 12/13, it turns out I was 10 when I had the scan that revealed my lesions 😬 younger than I thought, time goes by so fast, it’s scary. Before that I had been sick with reflux since I was a baby but I had no idea what was to come. I don’t think I’ve ever seen my doctor’s full of so much hope for a diagnosis so maybe this could be the year for it! 😄 As always I will keep you posted!
Thank you for reading! 😉💗 Hope your day is as amazing as you!