A Name: Living with an Undiagnosed Chronic Illness

Hi everyone! How are you? I would like to say a massive thank you for your kind and thoughtful comments on my post Waiting: Living with an Undiagnosed Chronic Illness. It’s wrong to say I’m glad some of you can relate because it’s nothing to be glad about but it’s nice to know I’m not the only one! (I’m not making sense 🙈😂). The other night I wrote this! (I’ve been getting allot of midnight inspiration lately 😂). One of the things we wait for in being undiagnosed is a name to put to our pain. Instead of having to describe symptoms and look like an idiot everytime we are asked what’s wrong. A name would not be taken for granted. A name would put meaning towards all of the hurt. My pain is with me nearly every day in various symptoms and I don’t really let you know that on my  usual posts because I want to keep them happy (my pain does not define who I am, my randomness does! 😂) and I also don’t want to sound like I’m wallowing or make people uncomfortable but I know I should write about it more and these posts will hopefully help me feel more at ease in doing so and let others know they are not alone too. I find it easier to write it like this (can it be described as poetry? 🤔😂) as it just flows and its not hard to find the words. It’s a post that has a start and no real ending as in a way this signifies what we want in our pain, we know the start and yearn for an ending. 

A name to put to the pain

We would not be thought insane.

We would not fear

As much as you think

The name we hear.

After years of worry

I would surely hurry

Towards a name.

Tears would be of joy

It would not come as a shock

I would not think it an evil ploy

Even if there was less time on the clock.

To some it would be too much

To us it is all we ask.

~

The shock would be of a different kind
To those who have hurt out of the blue.

It would be for feeling a new life.

Freedom whilst still held down.

A name to put to your question

What is wrong?

A name to end suspicion

And being jealous for so long

Of those who have a name.

In all this time

Where our pain has been safe

Our normal.

A name could break us 

Yet we still want it

Because we are strong

And we deserve a name.

What are you without one?

Thank you for reading! 😉💗 After writing this I was lost for words…it was like without even knowing it I needed to write it and I felt complete in putting my pen down (which is rare! 😂). I hope you are having a lovely summer! 

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